Posted by sh3llD

13 hours ago

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Hi….My Name is Hashimoto’s, and I’m an Invisible Chronic Illness.
I am now velcroed to you for life. Others around you can’t see me or hear me,
But YOUR body feels me. I can attack you anywhere and anyhow I please.
I can cause severe pain or, if I’m in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.

Remember when you and Energy ran around together and had fun?
I took Energy from you, and gave you Exhaustion. Try to have fun now! I also took Good Sleep from you and, in its place, gave you Brain Fog. I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else
feels normal. Oh, yeah, I can make you feel anxious or depressed, too. If you
have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take
that away, too. You didn’t ask for me. I chose you for various reasons:
That virus you had that you never recovered from, or that car accident,
or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma. Well, anyway, I’m here to stay!

I hear you’re going to see a doctor who can get rid of me. I’m rolling
on the floor, laughing. Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors
until you find one who can help you effectively. You will be put on pain pills,
sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression,
given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I
will go away, told to think positively, poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not
taken as seriously as you feel when you cry to the doctor how debilitating life
is every day.

Your family, friends and co-workers will all listen to you until they
just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and that I’m a debilitating
disease. Some of them will say things like “Oh, you are just having a bad day” or “Well, remember, you can’t do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago”, not
hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago. Some will just start talking behind your
back, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a “Normal” person, and can’t remember what you were going to say next!

In closing, (I was hoping that I kept this part a secret), but I guess you already
found out…the ONLY place you will get any support and understanding in dealing with me is with Other People With Hashimoto’s

Thanks Hearts of Space

love Kirsty

I’m hearing voices in the wind
I can hear them coming closer
back in the cold December rain
do you remember

we don’t look back in time
i’m moving on your moving on
we don’t look back in time
i’m moving on your moving on

My life is burning up with colour
I see rainbows in the distance
but it’s always close behind me
and it’s coming round again
I hear you turn the light on
while we’re drowning in excitement
everybody’s up and singin’
and i’m feeling you again

we don’t look back in time
i’m moving on your moving on
we don’t look back in time
i’m moving on your moving on

won’t be looking back
and i’ll be facing to the future
and I know that you’ll be thinking of that
cold December rain
you know we belonged together
feeling like we used to
but I know that i’ll be thinking of that
cold December rain

repeat chorus.

words by Kirsty Hawkshaw, Adam F, DJ Fresh
backing vocals by Stamina MC

Liquid Kaos Feat Kirsty Hawkshaw
‘Back In Time’

RELEASED: 22.01.12

Toolroom Records breaks new ground once again courtesy of the legendary drum and bass double act Liquid Kaos who have teamed up with vocalist Kirsty Hawkshaw for ‘Back In Time’, a drum and bass master class that will be taking over the airwaves and the clubs.

Liquid Kaos need little introduction as owners of the legendary Breakbeat Kaos imprint and an impressive list of accolades between them that includes multiple UK Top 10 singles, a Mobo award and the support of the scene’s most influential players Zane Lowe, Fabio & Grooverider, Mistajam and more. The most distinctive voice in dance music and a number 1 selling artist in her own right, Kirsty Hawkshaw completes this dream collaboration.

‘Back In Time’ hooks you in with the haunting vocals of Kirsty Hawkshaw swirling above searing synths and atmospheric strings before dropping into organic grooves and a delectably warm bass.
On the remix tip, Swedish star John Dahlbäck provides a four to the floor electro workout, dubstep’s rising star Cookie Monsta throws in a big, bass heavy re-rub whilst Toolroom’s new wonder kid CaPa and Germany’s deep house duo Kruse & Nürnberg complete a versatile package.

www.facebook.com/toolroomrecords
www.toolroomrecords.com

Here are some photos from the video shoot and from the making of the track when I was in the studio with DJ Fresh and Adam F.

I'm hearing voices in the wind

Adam F tests out the breakdown

The Gentleman and the beautiful Lii

All eyes are Allies

Lii mucking about on set

I wasn’t too fond on the idea of a baby shower to celebrate pending birth of my son Jonny Fox, but this January I had a longing to see old and new friends. With the long winter months, and being slightly cooped up and pregnant due to all the cold weather. It’s been ages since i’ve had a moment to have a quality moment with some of the people I have had many amazing adventures in life with, so when my friend Liz mentioned “why don’t have you a blessing way instead’? I was intrigued, then when she explained exactly what it was and how it could be adapted to suit the individual I thought “GREAT lets get tribal’!.

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A blessing way is a non materialistic offer of support to the Mother and her baby to get through the birth with support and the coming months following. Blessing way is translated from Navajo means ‘one sung over’ or ‘for good hope’. It’s a showing of positive intent towards the Mother and those who are invited. If the Mother is religious she can adapt it to her belief system. I am not religious but would like to think I’m spiritually curious and open. It’s a warm gathering of friends and a little ceremony.

Liz suggested a belly painting, so I contacted a friend Wendy who is an amazing body painter. Wendy then introduced me to Heather who was able to make the day. I think it’s important to allow an artist to tune into their own creativity and Heather came up with the idea of two fishes, on a lotus pond.

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For the blessing way it’s essential to only invite people who you feel comfortable with, this is a wise move as it’s a very sensitive situation to be in, especially when the guide passes around the pestle and mortar to grind up the corn (in our case we used porridge oats because I didn’t have any cornmeal and upon attempting to grind up some popcorn, I almost deafened myself and nearly broke the vitamix), then I nearly burned the kitchen down attempting to pop the remains which didn’t work. Anyway each person introduces themselves and sais a little bit about the Mother and how they met. I have to admit I couldn’t hold a few tears back when some of my friends spoke, it was very touching – how precious our female friends are!. What really got me going was when my friend Becks little boy Jude who is the same age as my son Ike, spoke about how he met Ike.

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Mark and Becks are my neighbours from when I lived in that end of town, and they posted a letter one day when they moved in inviting us over to say hi, It reminded me of the 70′s when people were more open in general, and kids used to play on the streets. We became great friends and they very kindly let us to use their house for the blessing way as it was closer to the Station for London friends, and also they have a lovely spacious kitchen where we held the ceremony. I invited some people who I’ve only met once, but for some reason when I met them it was kindred, and they are Mothers, and even though we don’t live in a physical tribe there is some kind of spiritual tribey connection we have. I did invite a few of my brothers too, and was really touched by a card that my friend Chris painted with a message on the back. It sounds weird but I did have a weird dream a while back where I gave birth to a baby wolf and his picture was of a wolf ( ok ok I know some of you are thinking Rosemary’s baby etc) but it was quite a powerful dream in some way and when Chris contributed the card and a fossilised shark tooth to offer as an amulet, I thought ‘Now this is the kind of baby shower I had in mind and a fossilised shark tooth beats a polyester baby grow!

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Uploaded with Skitch!

Some of my male friends felt a bit uncomfortable thinking it was an all girls event, but I thought it would be nice for Tim to have some blokes there too.

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A BEAD, A CANDLE AND A BOX OF SUPPORTIVE MESSAGES

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Liz mentioned to put in the invite to ask everybody to bring a bead and a candle. The bead is to make a necklace for the Mother to wear and the candle to be lit on the day of the birth. There were a beautiful selection of beads brought to the celebration, and a necklace was made which I’m going to have close to me at the birth and hopefully wear if i’m allowed

THE LACEY FLOWERY STRING CONNECTOR.

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Uploaded with Skitch!

This can be a rope, a string, or in our case I long flowery piece of lace which Liz tied around everybody’s wrist. Jude tried to include the cat but we had to draw the line there as it was quite a tangle. Once everybody is connected, Liz then cut the thread up into little wrist bands for everybody to wear until the day of the birth. I have to admit I was wondering if everybody would be able to keep it on till then, but I’ve seen them still on friends.

THE BOX OF MESSAGES

During the ceremony people were asked to write on a bit of paper something nice towards the Mother and family. I have kept this box without reading the messages yet, I thought it would be nice to read them on the day of the birth and save some of the energy of the Blessing way to give some added strength on the 9th.

I would like to thank from the heart all of you who came that day, I’d like to say a huge thanks to Daiva for her gorgeous beetroot salad which we ate all weekend which she managed to bring from London on the tube! To http://twitter.com/#!/kocicenka, and Heather for sending me the photos to use in this blog, and for those who couldn’t make it or would like to be part of this, please show some support to the following charity.

http://womensrefugeecommission.org/blog/1089-women-helping-women-in-haiti

thankyou Liz for a very special day, I love you Kxxxx

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