One sung over (The blessing way)
01 Feb 2011 2 Comments
Rowan by the felt dolls by thefeltdolls
I wasn’t too fond on the idea of a baby shower to celebrate pending birth of my son Jonny Fox, but this January I had a longing to see old and new friends. With the long winter months, and being slightly cooped up and pregnant due to all the cold weather. It’s been ages since i’ve had a moment to have a quality moment with some of the people I have had many amazing adventures in life with, so when my friend Liz mentioned “why don’t have you a blessing way instead’? I was intrigued, then when she explained exactly what it was and how it could be adapted to suit the individual I thought “GREAT lets get tribal’!.
A blessing way is a non materialistic offer of support to the Mother and her baby to get through the birth with support and the coming months following. Blessing way is translated from Navajo means ‘one sung over’ or ‘for good hope’. It’s a showing of positive intent towards the Mother and those who are invited. If the Mother is religious she can adapt it to her belief system. I am not religious but would like to think I’m spiritually curious and open. It’s a warm gathering of friends and a little ceremony.
Liz suggested a belly painting, so I contacted a friend Wendy who is an amazing body painter. Wendy then introduced me to Heather who was able to make the day. I think it’s important to allow an artist to tune into their own creativity and Heather came up with the idea of two fishes, on a lotus pond.
For the blessing way it’s essential to only invite people who you feel comfortable with, this is a wise move as it’s a very sensitive situation to be in, especially when the guide passes around the pestle and mortar to grind up the corn (in our case we used porridge oats because I didn’t have any cornmeal and upon attempting to grind up some popcorn, I almost deafened myself and nearly broke the vitamix), then I nearly burned the kitchen down attempting to pop the remains which didn’t work. Anyway each person introduces themselves and sais a little bit about the Mother and how they met. I have to admit I couldn’t hold a few tears back when some of my friends spoke, it was very touching – how precious our female friends are!. What really got me going was when my friend Becks little boy Jude who is the same age as my son Ike, spoke about how he met Ike.
Mark and Becks are my neighbours from when I lived in that end of town, and they posted a letter one day when they moved in inviting us over to say hi, It reminded me of the 70′s when people were more open in general, and kids used to play on the streets. We became great friends and they very kindly let us to use their house for the blessing way as it was closer to the Station for London friends, and also they have a lovely spacious kitchen where we held the ceremony. I invited some people who I’ve only met once, but for some reason when I met them it was kindred, and they are Mothers, and even though we don’t live in a physical tribe there is some kind of spiritual tribey connection we have. I did invite a few of my brothers too, and was really touched by a card that my friend Chris painted with a message on the back. It sounds weird but I did have a weird dream a while back where I gave birth to a baby wolf and his picture was of a wolf ( ok ok I know some of you are thinking Rosemary’s baby etc) but it was quite a powerful dream in some way and when Chris contributed the card and a fossilised shark tooth to offer as an amulet, I thought ‘Now this is the kind of baby shower I had in mind and a fossilised shark tooth beats a polyester baby grow!
Some of my male friends felt a bit uncomfortable thinking it was an all girls event, but I thought it would be nice for Tim to have some blokes there too.
A BEAD, A CANDLE AND A BOX OF SUPPORTIVE MESSAGES
Liz mentioned to put in the invite to ask everybody to bring a bead and a candle. The bead is to make a necklace for the Mother to wear and the candle to be lit on the day of the birth. There were a beautiful selection of beads brought to the celebration, and a necklace was made which I’m going to have close to me at the birth and hopefully wear if i’m allowed 
THE LACEY FLOWERY STRING CONNECTOR.
This can be a rope, a string, or in our case I long flowery piece of lace which Liz tied around everybody’s wrist. Jude tried to include the cat but we had to draw the line there as it was quite a tangle. Once everybody is connected, Liz then cut the thread up into little wrist bands for everybody to wear until the day of the birth. I have to admit I was wondering if everybody would be able to keep it on till then, but I’ve seen them still on friends.
THE BOX OF MESSAGES
During the ceremony people were asked to write on a bit of paper something nice towards the Mother and family. I have kept this box without reading the messages yet, I thought it would be nice to read them on the day of the birth and save some of the energy of the Blessing way to give some added strength on the 9th.
I would like to thank from the heart all of you who came that day, I’d like to say a huge thanks to Daiva for her gorgeous beetroot salad which we ate all weekend which she managed to bring from London on the tube! To http://twitter.com/#!/kocicenka, and Heather for sending me the photos to use in this blog, and for those who couldn’t make it or would like to be part of this, please show some support to the following charity.
http://womensrefugeecommission.org/blog/1089-women-helping-women-in-haiti
thankyou Liz for a very special day, I love you Kxxxx
Feb 01, 2011 @ 11:50:34
Such a lovely story
)) Good luck Kirsty, you have lots of people supporting 
Feb 02, 2011 @ 00:43:03
Hey sweetie, what a lovely evening you had and wow the painting on your tummy looked like a beautiful egg. I know the delivery will be wonderful this time around special in its own way.
God Bless you all, Love Karime and Ty